There’s a distinct difference between ‘critics’ and constructive ‘criticism’. For the success-minded individual – part of the pangs of growth more often than not include how we process constructive criticism.
Constructive criticism, however, is entirely different from blatant hating. A great definition as voted on in the Urban Dictionary defines a hater as the following:
1. hater
A label applied to people who are more negative than positive when discussing another person. It most commonly refers to individuals whose negativity is so extreme that it is all-consuming. However, there are various levels and forms of being a hater, ranging from completely dismissing any positive traits or actions, to merely painting a less than flattering picture by using words with negative connotations. Hating is often attributed to jealousy, but just as often, it seems to stem from some other source – ex:
Susan: You know, Kevin from accounting is doing very well. He just bought a house in a very nice part of town.
Jane (hater): If he is doing so well why does he drive that ‘89 Taurus?
Love your haters
They’re there for a reason – and if you let them get to you, then you’ve let them win. It’s all about perspective.
If something a hater says about you really gets to you – you need to do some soul searching and figure out what limiting fear or belief about yourself is at the root of your negative reaction. Take responsibility for your limiting belief and grow from it – as Robin Sharma says – ‘the fears you don’t own become your prison bars’.
Simply put – if a hater is capable and able to get you angry – they’ve done you a favor.
Haters, in their hate, provide all the motivation we need to overcome any circumstance.
“If at first you don’t succeed – think of all the people you just pleased” -Unknown
The new hustle is about using a positive perspective to switch any of life’s circumstances to a beneficial opportunity for growth. If you have haters, you’re obviously doing something right or they wouldn’t be noticing you at all.
The best attribute that combats hating is having plenty of belief in your own abilities – aka self-belief. Don’t let a hater stop you from achieving your dreams – use their words as fuel to get to where you believe you can go.
If a hater changes your beliefs about what you can and can not do successfully – you’ve let them win. No one can tell you you’re not good enough, no one can tell you you won’t work hard enough – and no one can determine your future but yourself. Great quote from Roosevelt who explains it best:
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.” -Theodore Roosevelt
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